And then, Lord, if I do not reach the beginning of life
I pray you that I make a difference in the world in which I live.
For now I understand at this tender age, dear God,
that my life was doomed from the start.
And now, father, I know my duty.
For as I dwell in this pit of doomed gloom
I see no exit, father, my past lurks behind me.
I observe the face of death himself!
I cannot fear what heaven holds,
all I can fear is what I do to my physical state now.
I fail to comprehend what wrong I have done.
For,only a year ago you were my bestfriend,God.
Today, it is you who has disowned me.
It seems as though you work alongside the devil in the creation of my destiny.
I am alone
Quite frankly I am terrified of the fact that I am losing it.
Lately, my heart aches for no particular reason
I hear it pounding on my chest
as if it's begging to escape.
"Be careful what you wish for", is all I can whisper to it.
For the world is a harsh, cold place
built on disownment and heartache.
"Be careful what you wish for, my heart.
Only those who surrender are the true survivors"...
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
My Younger self
Dear Jax
I don’t know where to begin, so much has happened over the last couple of years that you need to know. First of all enjoy being a child and don’t grow up too soon, there is a time for everything. I have learnt so much over the last couple of years that I wish I had known back then, what I know now. Growing up is not for the faint of heart as there are many obstacles that you may face along the journey called life. People will walk in and out of your life but don’t be upset because that is what life is all about. You will meet people from all walks of life that will have a great influence on the person you will become. School is very important Jax even though it may not seem like that right now. Use every resource that is available to you, and make the best of every opportunity. Make every moment a memorable one and cherish every friendship you make. Do not let small things bring you down because there is always something bigger and better waiting for you around the corner. Always have a positive outlook on life, because when you are negative there is nowhere to go but backwards. When you finish school make sure you go to university and make your dreams come true. Choose the right path, whether it is in choosing friends or choosing your career. Make sure you work hard and play smart, and always make sure there is time to have fun. Embrace the good and the bad times that you will face. You will fall in and out of love and make sure you choose the right person to do this with. There will always be someone who will break your heart, but there will always be someone to put the pieces back together. Always remember that your family comes first and never forget where you come from.
All my love
Jacqui
What does it mean to be a Rhodent?
Does being a Rhodent mean that one has to engage in the annual activity of bathing oneself in purple paint, and drinking until one does not recall the activities of the previous night? Since coming here, I have realised that attempting to retrieve dates in my memory is suicide, sticking to events is a safer option. But the whole Rhodes experience is not a mechanism to put all the first years off, in fact if I have learnt anything, it is the rules of life. Life, and the world in general, is a jungle and there is no better place to equip oneself than Rhodes University. As we proudly bare the tail of the rat and the feather of the parrot, we become true Rhodents. My experiences as a "freshman" are drawing to a close, and I really wouldn't change any of it!!!This is partially because I don't remember a majority of the year, but also because there can never be a greater first-year experience. I know what you're thinking...how would I know?Afterall, I only went to one University. Well, since this is MY experience, I rate that Rhodes is indeed no.1!On the other hand, I am one of the few people that absolutely enjoyed high school and would go back in a flash!!!Rhodes is the epitome of high school.All the ups and the downs.The challenges, the "immunities", the backstabbing, the cheating.Funny thing is, though I am constantly comparing this place to aspects of Survivor, I wouldn't change it or swop it for anthing in the world!Instead, I'll just grab my torch and make my way to the finish line...burning some Rhodents on the way:-)
It's survival of the WITtest
It's survival of the WITtest
A letter to my younger self
Dear Angelica
I hope you are doing very well, considering the shopping you had to do, and your parents’ credit cards which you just couldn’t resist exhausting. Going to university must be very exciting for you, even though the thought of being stuck in a small town isn’t the best thing that could happen to one.
I trust you are not very antisocial, as the only way to survive on this island is by interacting with all the other people around. In order to remain there for long though, you have to take part in activities that will serve in your favour. Stay away from people who may indirectly sabotage your chances of making it to end, in other words getting your degree.
The different obstacles that may have to be crossed are not that difficult, but require tact and a bit of loosening up. The many acquaintances that you will run into have to always keep you in line when temptations arise. Even though the environment is condusive for a reckless lifestyle, self control will lead you in the right direction.
The many animals in this island are harmless, just as long as you keep out of their way, and avoid being used as a means to an end. The tasks one will receive on a daily basis just need a little more effort than you would when attending to matters that bring about enjoyment, but managing your time will prove to be very useful in the end.
Towards the end of it all, you will realise that along the way you will lose track of what you essentially came here to do, but there is always a way of regaining your immunity and avoiding exclusion, so long as your DP flame is kept burning. Above all, enjoy every minute.
Yours sincerely
Sbonelo
I hope you are doing very well, considering the shopping you had to do, and your parents’ credit cards which you just couldn’t resist exhausting. Going to university must be very exciting for you, even though the thought of being stuck in a small town isn’t the best thing that could happen to one.
I trust you are not very antisocial, as the only way to survive on this island is by interacting with all the other people around. In order to remain there for long though, you have to take part in activities that will serve in your favour. Stay away from people who may indirectly sabotage your chances of making it to end, in other words getting your degree.
The different obstacles that may have to be crossed are not that difficult, but require tact and a bit of loosening up. The many acquaintances that you will run into have to always keep you in line when temptations arise. Even though the environment is condusive for a reckless lifestyle, self control will lead you in the right direction.
The many animals in this island are harmless, just as long as you keep out of their way, and avoid being used as a means to an end. The tasks one will receive on a daily basis just need a little more effort than you would when attending to matters that bring about enjoyment, but managing your time will prove to be very useful in the end.
Towards the end of it all, you will realise that along the way you will lose track of what you essentially came here to do, but there is always a way of regaining your immunity and avoiding exclusion, so long as your DP flame is kept burning. Above all, enjoy every minute.
Yours sincerely
Sbonelo
A letter to my younger self
Dear Bukho
I hope you are well. I thought varsity life was easy like you were always telling me. Life here at varsity is tolerable but it is hard. Here you face different groups of people, different races and cultures. I wish you had advised me about the environment adaptation of the University life so that I would have been prepared to deal with it.
To adapt in this environment is not an easy thing to do. You meet people from different backgrounds, and you become part of them because you all stay in one community. I wish I should have known that before I came here. Being far away from home made me think I am alone. You only go home after a term which that is hurtful especially when you are used to be around your family. I keep myself strong when I always think about my family, because I think of them daily no matter what company I get from the friends I have here. Making new friends is also not an easiest thing to do. At varsity you have to make new friends in order to enjoy the social life. I find it so hard to make new friends here but Bukho you said it was going to be an easiest thing to do. Lastly man you did not tell me that many people here like to change their characters. I see people who I’ve schooled with at high school changing themselves into something I cannot even define. I am still the true character of myself, I still respect the dignity of my culture, I still respect woman, I am still in touch with good people and I still have a friendship with my long time friends.
Bukho I wish brother you should have advised me about the things I’ve mentioned above because they are much vital than those you were always telling me.
Yours Sincerely: Vakele Genu.
I hope you are well. I thought varsity life was easy like you were always telling me. Life here at varsity is tolerable but it is hard. Here you face different groups of people, different races and cultures. I wish you had advised me about the environment adaptation of the University life so that I would have been prepared to deal with it.
To adapt in this environment is not an easy thing to do. You meet people from different backgrounds, and you become part of them because you all stay in one community. I wish I should have known that before I came here. Being far away from home made me think I am alone. You only go home after a term which that is hurtful especially when you are used to be around your family. I keep myself strong when I always think about my family, because I think of them daily no matter what company I get from the friends I have here. Making new friends is also not an easiest thing to do. At varsity you have to make new friends in order to enjoy the social life. I find it so hard to make new friends here but Bukho you said it was going to be an easiest thing to do. Lastly man you did not tell me that many people here like to change their characters. I see people who I’ve schooled with at high school changing themselves into something I cannot even define. I am still the true character of myself, I still respect the dignity of my culture, I still respect woman, I am still in touch with good people and I still have a friendship with my long time friends.
Bukho I wish brother you should have advised me about the things I’ve mentioned above because they are much vital than those you were always telling me.
Yours Sincerely: Vakele Genu.
eRhini
I was shipped off to a klein dorpie called eRhini
where the sun refused to smile
how I longed for those endless beach days
with just me, my friends and I.
I was taken to a klein dorpie called eRhini
where the streets met in every corner
I thought, as I stood on one end:
"I can see every border".
I arrived at a klein dorpie called eRhini
where the churches reached the sky
there were no buses, no taxis, no robots
only donkey-carts passing by.
Now the crazy people living in Rhini
were not from Rhini themselves.
For they, like me, had been drawn to Rhini
where they now worked like Santa's elves.
I learnt the hard way to understand Rhini
but before that I had to look deep within,
because before I could accept others,
it was myself I had to take in.
I hated this klein dorpie called eRhini
for as the rain would accompany dawn
one would prepare like any other,
but the rain would stop when one reached the lawns!
I swim in the colour purple
for Rhodes is Rhini.
We live it, we breathe it
I wouldn't swop it for any genie...
where the sun refused to smile
how I longed for those endless beach days
with just me, my friends and I.
I was taken to a klein dorpie called eRhini
where the streets met in every corner
I thought, as I stood on one end:
"I can see every border".
I arrived at a klein dorpie called eRhini
where the churches reached the sky
there were no buses, no taxis, no robots
only donkey-carts passing by.
Now the crazy people living in Rhini
were not from Rhini themselves.
For they, like me, had been drawn to Rhini
where they now worked like Santa's elves.
I learnt the hard way to understand Rhini
but before that I had to look deep within,
because before I could accept others,
it was myself I had to take in.
I hated this klein dorpie called eRhini
for as the rain would accompany dawn
one would prepare like any other,
but the rain would stop when one reached the lawns!
I swim in the colour purple
for Rhodes is Rhini.
We live it, we breathe it
I wouldn't swop it for any genie...
a letter to my younger body
Dear Zamo,
Remember the girl you liked so much in your first-year? Ja, the third-year you occasionally hung out with from the floor above you. After spending a majority of your life dating guys, I wish someone had been there to see you through a same-sex relationship. The drama, the tears, the judgement…all of it, if only we could turn back the hands of time and just make people understand that although you were not homophobic, you did not consider yourself a homosexual. It was just her.
Confusion is a deadly serpent. Remember that claim you held so dear? Indeed, not only were you bombarded with the transition from high school to varsity, but you were confronted with feelings you didn’t know even existed; your close friend, confusion, being one of them. If there was a way to avoid the stares that you believed were piercing your back as you entered the Kaif, you know I would help you. Alas, what’s in the past shall stay there, we can only enjoy what tomorrow brings.
Of course the relationship was not built on turmoil, or else you wouldn’t have stuck around for that long, but the awkward “should-I-hold-your-hand?” moments were like a child caught playing in the dark. So the Rhodes experience got you down, but she couldn’t have come at a better time in your life. She taught you more than you could ever know. If I were there I’d advise you to stick to her. Those who do not approve are but only a jealous bunch.
Have a splashing first year…
Remember the girl you liked so much in your first-year? Ja, the third-year you occasionally hung out with from the floor above you. After spending a majority of your life dating guys, I wish someone had been there to see you through a same-sex relationship. The drama, the tears, the judgement…all of it, if only we could turn back the hands of time and just make people understand that although you were not homophobic, you did not consider yourself a homosexual. It was just her.
Confusion is a deadly serpent. Remember that claim you held so dear? Indeed, not only were you bombarded with the transition from high school to varsity, but you were confronted with feelings you didn’t know even existed; your close friend, confusion, being one of them. If there was a way to avoid the stares that you believed were piercing your back as you entered the Kaif, you know I would help you. Alas, what’s in the past shall stay there, we can only enjoy what tomorrow brings.
Of course the relationship was not built on turmoil, or else you wouldn’t have stuck around for that long, but the awkward “should-I-hold-your-hand?” moments were like a child caught playing in the dark. So the Rhodes experience got you down, but she couldn’t have come at a better time in your life. She taught you more than you could ever know. If I were there I’d advise you to stick to her. Those who do not approve are but only a jealous bunch.
Have a splashing first year…
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