I surrender

And then, Lord, if I do not reach the beginning of life
I pray you that I make a difference in the world in which I live.
For now I understand at this tender age, dear God,
that my life was doomed from the start.

And now, father, I know my duty.
For as I dwell in this pit of doomed gloom
I see no exit, father, my past lurks behind me.
I observe the face of death himself!
I cannot fear what heaven holds,
all I can fear is what I do to my physical state now.

I fail to comprehend what wrong I have done.
For,only a year ago you were my bestfriend,God.
Today, it is you who has disowned me.
It seems as though you work alongside the devil in the creation of my destiny.

I am alone

Quite frankly I am terrified of the fact that I am losing it.
Lately, my heart aches for no particular reason
I hear it pounding on my chest
as if it's begging to escape.
"Be careful what you wish for", is all I can whisper to it.

For the world is a harsh, cold place
built on disownment and heartache.
"Be careful what you wish for, my heart.
Only those who surrender are the true survivors"...